


Safe and Sound

by AndyHood



Series: To have Loved and Lost [1]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M, Sad, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony sings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-17 20:17:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/871539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndyHood/pseuds/AndyHood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony has saved thousands of lives, but when it matters the most there is one life he cannot save.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! This is my first fic to be posted to AO3, and I really hope that you enjoy reading this, it demanded that I write it after watching Iron Man and listening to the song Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift and the Civil Wars. This fic is also posted on Fanfiction. Warning this is going to be a sad fic, you have been warned.

Tony should have known that his happiness couldn't last, that every time he found happiness that something bad was around the corner. Tony saved millions of lives, but there was one life that he couldn't save, Pepper's.

6 months after they had been married Pepper was diagnosed with breast cancer. Tony had dropped everything to be by her side, to take care of her like she had taken care of him. He gave control of Stark Industries to the board of directors, and had Natasha keep an eye on them. He even quit being Ironman, having Rhodney and the War Machine take his place.

Though thick and thin Tony was always by Pepper's side, though the bouts of radiation and chemo, to when her hair fell out. He held her hand through all of it. He only left her side when she was sleeping, and that was to go down into the lab with Bruce to try to find a cure.

He was with her when the doctors said the chemo and radiation hadn't worked and they would need to remove her breasts. Tony held her as she cried, and told her that it would be okay. He was with her in the operating room and held her hand through the entire procedure.

The doctors thought it had worked, the cancer had gone into remission. Pepper was getting better, even her hair was growing back. Tony was so happy that he took her on a lavish vacation to France, Italy, Spain, and Greece. It was a wonderful two months, until Pepper began to get sick again.

Tony rushed her back to the states, where the doctors told them that the cancer was back and more aggressive than ever. Pepper went through another round of chemo, and instead of getting better, she became worse. The doctors said the cancer was getting worse, that she had only a few months left, two at the best.

Tony was devastated, but he didn't let it show. He had to be strong for Pepper. He made her last two months the best he could, they didn't waste a single minute.

Tony stopped at the doorway of their bedroom, just gazing at his Pepper, his beautiful Pepper. He knew that it was close to the end, and he wanted to be by her side for every second he had left. "Tony" he heard Pepper call from the bed.

Tony put a smile on his face, and walked over to Pepper, sitting down in the chair next to her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"That's okay, I wasn't sleeping. What were you doing?" she asked with a soft smile on her face.

"Just looking at my beautiful wife as she slept"

Pepper face grew sad, "Tony I'm not beautiful anymore." She said as she ran a hand over her smooth head, and her flat chest.

Tony shook his head, shocked that Pepper could ever think like that. "You're still beautiful Pepper, just like the first time I met you" whispered Tony squeezing her hand. "The same beautiful smile, your dazzling eyes, and your sense of humor, and your interiority, Pepper. That is what I see when I look at you, I see the woman I fell in love with." Pepper smiled at him.

"You were always such a charmer, Tony.…Tony I'm so cold"

"Then we'll just have to fix that" said Tony with a small smile. He bent down and removed his shoes, before he climbed in next to her. Wrapping her up in his arms, he held her close.

"Sing to me Tony" whispered Pepper softly as she felt herself fading away and Tony had such a beautiful voice that he rarely ever used.

"Yes Mrs. Stark," whispered Tony, knowing this was the end. "I love you."

Pepper smiled and closed her eyes, "I love you to, Tony." Tony leaned down and kissed her before he drew her closer. Tony searched his memory and found the perfect song and began to sing.

"I remember tears streaming down your face When I said, I'll never let you go When all those shadows almost killed your light I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight. Just close your eyes The sun is going down You'll be alright No one can hurt you now  
Come morning light You and I'll be safe and sound"

He sang as Pepper took a few more breaths and became still, as she died in his arms with a smile on her face. Tony felt this and the tears he had been holding back for the past 6 months came pouring out. But he continued the song, until it was done

"Don't you dare look out your window darling Everything's on fire The war outside our door keeps raging on Hold onto this lullaby Even when the music's gone Just close your eyes The sun is going down You'll be alright No one can hurt you now Come morning light You and I'll be safe and sound Just close your eyes You'll be alright Come morning light, You and I'll be safe and sound..."

"Good-bye, my sweet" he whispered kissing her on the forehead.

He closed his eyes, and pulled her closer to him and fell into an exhausted sleep. Bruce found them the next morning. Tony still had Pepper wrapped in his arms, Bruce could tell from one glance that Pepper had slipped away. He gently shook Tony awake.

"Tony wake up." Tony slowly opened his eyes, and looked at Bruce before looking at Pepper, hoping that last night was a dream.

"She's gone Tony" whispered Bruce, tears running down his face. Tony looked at Pepper's peaceful face, all the pain she had been suffering was over, and she had died with a smile on her face. He gently cupped her face, and kissed her before disentangling himself from her.


	2. Chapter 2

Bruce guided him out of the room, and made the necessary calls. Tony sat on the couch in the living room like a zombie. Natasha and Clint periodically tried to get him to talk, or eat something. Tony knew nothing in those hours. He was not aware of anything going on around him; he just stared intently on a flaw on the mahogany table. Getting lost in it, though he was aware when Pepper was taken away, as he lifted his eyes to watch her be wheeled away. Nobody knew what to do, None had really experienced this sort of thing, except for Steve. He shooed the other ones away quietly before gently sitting down next to Tony, who made no indication that he knew that Steve was there.

Steve took a deep breath. "Tony, I know that we haven't always gotten along. But I wanted to say that I'm sorry about Pepper. I know people are going to say that they know how you feel, but no one does. I can only say I know what it is like to lose your love. I lost Peggy, she died while I was still frozen. I know it is nothing like what you experienced, but if you ever want to talk I'm here for you." Steve waited for a few moments before he got up. As he began to walk away he heard.

"Thank-you." He turned to see Tony looking at him. Steve nodded, and left the room.

Tony could never remember what happened the next few days. In his mind Pepper had died that night and the next morning was the day of the funeral. He didn't remember telling Natasha what Pepper had said she wanted to be buried in. Or going and buying a beautiful headstone, or the two nights of visitation. He only remembered being in the church as the Priest held the funeral mass and standing up to give the eulogy.

Tony stood up at the podium, and looked at the small group of people who were gathered there. Each had known Pepper personally, Tony refused to have a public funeral. He looked over at the coffin and then at the people. Clint and Natasha sat next to each other as Natasha shed silent tears. Thor was sitting with Jane and her friend Darcy. Even Fury was among the crowd sitting close to Steve and Phil, while Bruce sat next to Betty Ross.

Pepper had been the one that had made Bruce see that the Hulk never tried to hurt Betty. Not even the first time when he first Hulked out. She pointed out that Hulk attacked the soldiers, but stopped from hurting General Ross when he came to close to Betty.

"The Hulk loves Betty as much as you do Bruce" whispered Pepper. It was just three weeks before Pepper passed that Bruce found himself having this conversation. It was a rare moment when Tony left her side. Pepper had tricked him away with a request for her favorite Italian dish, and Tony had run to get it for her. As soon as he was gone, Pepper had called for Bruce.

"Yes Pepper?"

"Come sit with me Bruce" said Pepper patting the bed next to her. Bruce smiled and made his way around the machines that lined the bed and sat down next to her. The doctor in him noticed the dark purple bruise marks under her eyes that signified that Pepper hadn't been getting much sleep, the paleness of her skin and the waxiness of it. Pepper laughed and shook her handkerchief covered head, her hair had fallen out long ago. "You can stop your doctor mode Bruce, I just wanted to talk to you."

Bruce smiled, "Sorry Pepper, what did you want to talk to me about?" taking his seat next to her and entwining his hand into hers. Pepper brought her other hand to rest on top of Bruce's.

"Betty Ross, Jarvis told me that she's called here a few times, but you ask him to tell her that you aren't available."

Bruce looked down at the mattress. "Pepper I have to push her away. I just don't want this life for her. She's not safe with me, what if the other guy comes out and hurts her. I did it before and I can't go through with that again."

He felt Pepper's hand on his chin and she lifted his eyes to meet hers. "Bruce, tell me when you first transformed what do you remember?"

Bruce thought back, "I remember bursting from the chair and attacking the soldiers in the room as the fired at me, I broke the observing window, hurting Ross and Betty in the process. I turned around and saw Betty, I took a few steps as Ross crawled over and held up his hand, clutching Betty. I remember running after that."

"What about at the University Campus?"

"The soldiers were hurting Betty, I could hear her screams over the cannons. I then protected her from the missiles that were fired at me, and I took her with me when I ran."

Pepper began to smile, "And at Harlem?"

"The Abomination was about to hurt her, and the gas from the crashed helicopter was leaking and about to explode." 

Pepper leaned back against her pillows and squeezed Bruce's hand. "Sounds to me like Betty has captured the Hulk's heart, he knows how important she is to you or else he wouldn't have did all those things. Bruce, Tony and I have learned something through this whole mess. You can't just let time slip away, because sometimes you don't have that time. Don't waste any more time, go call her, or I'll call her myself."

Bruce smiled, "I will Pepper, I promise."

Bruce called Betty that night, and they talked. They had meet, and Bruce couldn't be happier, he brought Betty to meet Pepper and the two had hit it off, Betty had thanked Pepper for convincing Bruce to talk to her. 

Bruce only wished that Betty had been able to get to know Pepper better. He wrapped an arm around Betty as Tony stood up at the podium to give the eulogy.

Tony couldn't believe that this moment was happening as he stood at the podium. He had to fight to keep his mask on, to hold back the tears that wanted to flow, but he refused to break down in front of all these people. He cleared his throat and started.

"I know that nowadays people say that there is no such thing as true soul mates. But I did meet mine, Virginia Pepper Potts was my true other half. I meet her on a whim, when I decided that a big business leader needed an assistant, and this red haired woman came walking into my life. She was the only woman that didn't fall for my advances and had enough nerve to tell me when I was wrong. For over ten years she looked over me, and I didn't know what I had, what a kind, gentle, loving woman that was standing in front of me. My eyes where finally opened when I spent three months away from her, and I was lucky to come back so that I could spend these past few years with my soul mate. I got to see her smile, and hear her laugh, and I will never love anyone as much as I love her. I think I would have missed her even if we never meet."

About everybody in the church was crying by the end of it. Even Fury was crying unashamedly. Tony returned to his place, and tuned out for the rest of the funeral, thinking of his Pepper's smile and her laugh and the brightness of her eyes, instead of the pale Pepper in the coffin. He jumped when Rhodney touched his shoulder, as the Avengers were taking their places as Pallbearers. Tony slipped on his pair of black sunglasses, and grabbed the top corner of the coffin, Happy taking the other side. Then it was Rhodney, Bruce, Thor, Steve, Clint, and Natasha, each wearing dark sunglasses as they headed out of the church. The sky was clouding over, as thunder rumbled overhead. Tony drove alone as they headed to the cemetery. Pepper was being laid to rest next to his parents in a quite cemetery outside of the city.

The rain held back until then, as Tony and the others headed towards the grave it began to pour. Mourners huddled under the tent as the final good-byes were said.

Tony stared stony faced as her coffin was lowered into the ground, the rain was pouring down but Tony took no notice. He declined the umbrella that was offered to him. The Avengers stood near him, silently supporting him. He only moved when Bruce finally laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Come on Tony, your soaked to bone. You need to get out of those cloths before you catch a chill."

Tony allowed Bruce to lead him away from the cemetery, and he didn't object when Happy got behind the wheel to drive him back to the Tower. For once in his life, Tony's mind didn't work on five different things, it was still. Not just still, numb, he didn't feel a thing. Happy glanced every so often at his boss as he drove slowly home. His boss was staring blankly out the window, eyes unfocused. The furnace in the car was blasting at full heat to drive away the chill the rain had left, Happy was sweating under his jacket, but every so often he saw Tony shiver. Happy was glad when he pulled into Tower's garage and led Tony to the elevator, hitting the button for the penthouse.

All the Avengers looked up as the elevator opened and saw Happy lead Tony into the room, heading towards the room he shared with Pepper. Until Tony physical bulked away from Happy as they approached the room. Happy understood, and led him to the next nearest room that happened to be Clint and Natasha's.

"I get you some dry cloths boss," said Happy, leaving Tony in the bathroom. Tony climbed into the shower still clothed and turned on the hot water full blast. He heard Happy come in and leave the cloths. He waited until he heard the door close before he sunk to the floor of the shower. Sitting there he took off his shoes, jacket, and tie, sitting in only his pants and shirt. Tony didn't know how long he sat under the stream, fingering his gold wedding ring, watching the steam rise. The water was almost hot enough to burn but Tony didn't feel anything but coldness. It was a long time until Tony felt the will power to turn off the water and get out of the shower, he didn't know that he had been under the water stream for three hours and the Avengers had asked Jarvis if he was okay 20 times. Tony stripped off the rest of the suit he was wearing and put on the cloths Happy had brought.

He walked out of the room, ignoring everyone as he walked to the elevator, hitting the button to his lab. When he got there he locked himself in and ordered Jarvis to not let anyone in, while also activating the manual switch to the door he didn't want to be disturbed. He then went and grabbed a bottle of booze. He hadn't touched the stuff since Pepper got the diagnoses. He then turned up his music, until the room was thumping with the sounds of drums and guitars.

Tony then began to drink, and he drank hard. Pounding back a bottle of whiskey, and half a bottle of vodka, before he began to think about how Pepper would scold him for getting drunk, until he realized that she wasn't ever going to tell him anything again. It was then that the song changed from heavy rock to the soft sounds of violins, a song that sent him back to his wedding day, for it was their song.

It was their first dance as a married couple. Tony never thought that Pepper looked more beautiful then she did in her wedding dress. 

"And taking the dance floor for the first time, Mr. & Mrs. Tony Stark" announced the D.J.

Tony took Pepper by the hand, and led her to the dance floor. "Mrs. Stark, that has a nice ring to it" whispered Tony as the first sound of the violins came over the speakers. Pepper laughed and leaned on Tony as he began to sing into her ear, the words to their song.

"Our love is unconditional 

We knew it from the start 

I can see it in your eyes 

You can feel it from my heart 

From here on after 

Lets stay the way we are right now 

And share all the love and laughter 

That a lifetime will allow 

I cross my heart 

And promise to 

Give all I've got to give 

To make all your dreams come true 

In all the world 

You'll never find 

A love as true as mine 

You will always be the miracle 

That makes my life complete 

And as long as there's still breath in me 

I'll make yours just as sweet 

As we look into the future 

It's as far as we can see 

So let's make each tomorrow 

Be the best that it can be 

And if along the way we find a day 

It starts to storm 

You've got the promise of my love 

To keep you warm"

That's when the other half of vodka crashed into the wall, as angry tears made treks down Tony's face and he began to trash everything in his lab. He grabbed the one of the speakers that moments ago had played their song and smashed it onto the ground. His gaze then landed on the table that held all of his and Banner's notes on cancer, with a sweep of his arm he threw all of it on the ground. He then threw the tables and half-finished experiments at the walls. He didn't even pause when a flying piece of wood came flying back and lodged itself into his arm.

"Sir!" started Jarvis, but that was as far as he got.

"Mute" yelled Tony as he punched the wall, knuckles cracking with the force of the punch as a large dent was made in the dry wall. Jarvis watched his creator destroy the lab he loved to spend so much time in. Blood pouring from the wound on his arm, Jarvis began looking all over for the rest of the Avengers, especially Bruce, who had the access codes to the lab. He found them easily.

The Avengers were sitting around the kitchen table, eating quietly. Every once in a while their eyes would wander to the two empty seats at the front of the table. Where many a night Tony and Pepper would sit, holding hands, laughing as Clint told a story, or Thor trying to fit things into his mouth and missing terrible. All of them jumping when Jarvis's voice broke the silence.

"Dr. Banner, I think you should go down to the lab. Mr. Stark is currently destroying everything in a drunken rage and has injured himself" came Jarvis voice.

To Jarvis's relief, the Avengers didn't wait for a second. They immediately left the table and got into the elevator and headed towards Tony's lab. Bruce couldn't help but twitch and tap his foot nervously as the elevator seemed to go slow. He was the first one off as the door's finally opened, punching in the code. Growling when the door denied him access.

"What's wrong Bruce!" demanded Clint as the rest caught up with Bruce.

"The door won't open, my codes won't work." Bruce then pounded on the door, "Tony open the door" he shouted hoping that Tony would hear him over the pounding of the music that still played.

Tony turned towards the sound of Bruce's voice, registering that he was calling for him to open the door. He turned away from the door, his eyes landing on a microscope that he had poured over looking at blood samples. The anger came back in full force and he grabbed the microscope and hurled it into the door. "Leave me alone Banner" he shouted as he fell to the ground, to drunk and pissed off to be able to stay standing.

Bruce jumped back as the microscope collided with the door, and the sound of Tony falling could be heard. "Jarvis can you open the doors?"

"I am afraid I cannot Dr. Banner. Mr. Stark has programmed the doors to only open manually and I cannot override the system that Mr. Stark has programed."

"What!" exclaimed Steve. "You're a super computer, you have hacked into SHIELD's most top secret files. How can you not over ride this?"

"I am only able to hack because Mr. Stark programed me. It is easy for him to write up a code that I am unable to crack" said Jarvis curtly. Steve decided to take some action and began to ram the door, putting his shoulder into it. Until they all heard a large pop and Steve grunted in pain, shoulder sticking out in an odd angle.

"Damn" he swore, hissing through clenched teeth. Natasha walked over to examine him.

"Your shoulder dislocated" she said. "This is going to hurt" she warned as she grabbed his arm and twisted it back into place. Thor looked at the door; Steve hadn't even made a dent in the door. He finger Mijor. With a war cry he slammed it into the door, again and again, putting all his strength into it. So much that he managed to make the building sway with the force. He paused to examine his work, and stood back in disbelief as he looked at the single scratch he had made.

"What is this blasted door made of!?" cried Thor aloud, he couldn't believe that he hadn't been able to knock it down.

"The door is made of a mix of all the strongest metals ever created, and then compressed. Mr. Stark deemed this model of door Thor proof since he developed it last time Mr. Odinson crashed the door open trying to get in."

The Avengers stood outside the door, listening to the crashes within as Tony continued to destroy things. Bruce knew that the Hulk was the only thing that would be able to get through those doors. He couldn't imagine Tony making them Hulk proof, he had gone out of his way to make Bruce welcome, he knew that he would have to try. He took a deep breath. "Everybody get back" he ordered. The other didn't ask Bruce what he meant, just did what they were told.

Hulk I need you he whispered to the back of his mind, where the Hulk resided. The change happened quickly, the Hulk came bursting forth, eager to help.

Hulk looked at the doors Star man and Lighting man had tried to get past. He could hear his friend Tin man on the other side doing what Hulk like to do which was smash things. But he could also smell Tin man's blood, and that meant he was hurt. He grunted at the doors, and smashed his fist into one. The metal gave under his fist. Hulk kept pounding until his fist went through and then he ripped the rest of the door off the hinges. Hulk stomped into the room, and promptly got hit in the face with a glass bottle that shattered in his face.

Hulk turned angrily in the direction the bottle came from, only to stop as he saw Tony. He was weaving on his feet, his face covered in tears, blood pouring out of his arm. As the Hulk watched Tony picked up a piece of debris and threw it at him hitting him again in the face.

"Come on Hulk," yelled Tony, "Doesn't this make you angry, teach me a lesson you giant green monster. Fight me!" Tony wanted to die, he wanted to be with Pepper, picking on an angry Hulk might get him there.

Hulk stared at the man he considered not just a friend to Bruce, but also himself, why was he saying such things.

Hulk, whispered Bruce from the back of his mind, since he had made peace with the Hulk they had been able to communicate to each other more easily. He doesn't mean it, he wants to die, because of Pepper. Bruce supplied images of Pepper in her coffin. Pepper was his Betty.

Hulk understood instantly, and he knew what to do.

Tony watched with as the Hulk walked towards him, bringing up his hand as he got closer to Tony. Tony closed his eyes, thinking that in a few moments that he would be with his Pepper. He was surprised when instead of the pounding he thought he would get, that he was suddenly wrapped up in a strong pair of arms and held close. He opened his eyes to see the Hulk hugging him close to his chest.

"Tony not mean, mean words. He misses Pepper" said Hulk holding Tony in his arms. The dam that had just been spilling over before burst inside Tony, and he began to cry, gut wrenching, body shaking crying on Hulk's chest.

"Why Hulk, why did she have to leave me" he cried. Hulk didn't have the answer to this so he stayed silent as he sat down and began to rock Tony, holding him as he cried. Tony cried until there was no tears left and he fell into an exhausted sleep.

The Hulk sat there as the Avengers gathered around him, Natasha was to one to lean forward and remove the chunk of wood from his arm before wrapping it up. Steve took Tony from Hulk so he could change back to Bruce. Steve lead the group back to the living room where he laid Tony on the couch, remembering how Tony had bulked away from his bedroom.

"Is there anything we can do to help him?" asked Clint looking down at Tony feeling helpless. Tony and him had clicked after New York. Always coming up with Pranks to pull and Tony was the one Clint told his problems to when he couldn't tell Tasha.

"No, the only thing that will help Tony is time, it's the only thing we can hope for is that in time Tony will heal, but he will never be the same" said Natasha as she spread a blanket over Tony. "He might try to push us away, but we must be here for him or we will lose him."

As the others trickled to bed, Bruce sat next to his friend watching over him, holding him as he cried in his dreams. Crying himself when he heard Tony cry for Pepper, hands reaching for something that wasn't there.

p-p-p-p-p-

Tony went into a deep depression after that night. Some days he couldn't find the energy to get up out of bed, others days he would sit in a robe and stare out his bedroom window. He didn't work, he barely spoke, and had to be watched to make sure that he ate something.

It hurt his friends to see the dead look in Tony's eyes, eyes that always had a spark. To see him sit quietly when he used to bounce off the walls talking a mile a minute about some new idea that they only understood a few words of, hurt them the worst. They had Jarvis keep an eye on him 24/7 in case he tried to commit suicide, which for a long period seemed likely.

Natasha knew that Tony was slowly recovering the day he walked out of his room to get a small cup of coffee. Bruce knew when he found a small diagram on Tony's nightstand. Clint knew when he chuckled at one of his jokes at the dinner table. Steve knew the day Tony changed out of his pajamas and into a band t-shirt. Thor knew when friend Stark finished his whole plate without being told to eat. SHIELD knew when they saw Tony take off the roof of the tower in his Iron Man suit.

Tony knew that he was recovering the day Bruce handed him a bundle in pink. "Her name is Virginia Ann Banner, and Betty and I would be honored if you will be her Godfather."

Tony gentle traced baby Virginia's face with a finger and smiled a real smile and accepted. Feeling joy and hope for the first time in a long time, looking forward to the years to come with a small happiness inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you thought of it, until next time!


End file.
